How Rhode Island fails children and parents of divorce
Rhode Island, my home and native state, has a long way to go when it comes to laws and programs that help children and parents of divorce.
Almost 20 US states have laws requiring divorcing parents of children under 18 to take some kind of educational module—usually a short classroom experience—for the divorce to be processed. These modules help Moms and Dads understand how children process divorce, as well as how parents, individually or cooperatively, can reduce the strain of divorce for their kids. These classes are required regardless of whether or not the divorce is contested.
Other US states that don’t have this requirement have a network of court-approved module providers, to which Family Court judges can assign parents.
Here in Rhode Island, we have no such network of class providers, and no laws requiring divorcing parents to do anything. Divorcing parents here don’t have to take a class, watch a video, or so much as read a pamphlet on how to best manage divorce for their kids.
The people who pay the biggest price for that are children, and it doesn’t have to be this way.
Rhode Island could:
adopt shared parenting legislation, which sets a standard of 50-50 shared physical custody;
have law-mandated education modules for parents; and/or
present the Sandcastles™ workshop for children
My own efforts to advance change in this area have included writing and testifying for legislation (RI H5716 and H7983), writing editorials for local media; and volunteering as a communications consultant for the RI chapter of the National Parents Organization.
I believe:
children have a natural and inalienable right to as equal access as possible to each of their parents
legislators, judges, attorneys, and, most of all, parents have a responsibility to honor this right, in deeds more than words
when Family Court alters a 50/50 division of physical custody of children, it should do so using a rigorous standard of evidence. No parent should be deemed unfit or undeserving of half of their child’s time based solely on the say-so on the person they’re divorcing.
parental alienation—that is, a consistent pattern of behaviors that convert a child to the false belief that their other parent is dangerous, bad, and undeserving of love—is a form of child abuse, and both the law and Family Court should recognize it as such.
Most of all, I believe that we can change things for the better, for children and parents in Rhode Island.